On the Road to Horoscope Land
One day, like you, I was bored. So I checked out the horoscope stuff in a website ad. I don't believe in horoscopes, but it's entertaining to see how much the descriptions "match" with our true personalities. In light of it, I wrote up parody blurbs about horoscopes. Who am I, fellow astrologer? (Horoscopes will be revealed at the end.) Mystery Horoscope One About Us: We like games. We like to get out there in the wild and start those projects. We are independently impatient and boldly devoted. We’ll ask you out for that first playdate, mate! Active? Yes, we’re energetic and always ready for a good game. Challenge us (and let us win)! Assertive/Aggressive? Of course, we know the fine line of who we are but we admit-- we enjoy leading. Yes, we know we can be a tad bossy, but play with us! We won’t beat you (yet). Pioneering? Definitely…what’s that shiny thing in your hand? Where were we? Ah yes, we’re taking life head-on! How to befriend me: Talk to us! (and maybe pat our heads and flirt-flatter us, too) Yep, we’re a fiery bunch, so be prepared to get fired up for a game. Above all, tell us about your ambitions. We’ll share ours, too! Who am I, fellow astrologer? Mystery Horoscope Two About Us: We’re friendly and aloof. We love roaming the parks and learning. We are rebellious and totally un-predictable. We eat Unique for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snack time. Intelligent? Yes, thank you. Thank you very much! (flattered look) Stubborn? Yes, we know. It’s more like strong-minded and independent-willed, but we are certainly stubborn, just a bit. Humanitarian? Absolutely, fellow Homo sapien! Our monkey friends love their anthropomorphic characteristics, and we love our Homo sapiens. We will rule the world! Mwahahaha. No, dear reader, we LOVE you (well, most of the time), we really meant rule the world in terms of helping! (wink wink) How to befriend me: Debate! Pull those intellectual brain muscles! Be the random oddball and tell us a good story. Above all, be willing to be our friend --we’ll go the extra hundred miles for you. Who am I, fellow astrologer? Mystery Horoscope Three About Us: We like laughing. We like teasing. Yes, we also like touching things. Shiny things, itchy ones, beautiful and weird things. What’s that Phillips curve doing in the trash can? Time to rescue it! Now, how does it work? Curious and optimistic, we like all people. Enthusiastic? That’s right! We like to hike in the woods and learn about the Phillips curve in the trash can. We like to sing along and run around in circles. We like meeting new people and talking and talking. We like walking and running and… Honest? Why not? There’s nothing to hide! We search for the truth and love it to death (and life). Please don’t hold back from us, our half-horse side will want to gallop into you! Adventurously Irresponsible? Yes and no, friend! Okay, we sometimes come a bit late. But that’s because we found a shiny new jacket on a shiny new person at the street corner on our way here. We just stopped to say hello and travel to the nearest bookstore to chat. How to befriend me: Tell us your funny jokes and stories and travel with us to the Galapagos islands and meet new friends with us and be happy! Laugh, live, and love with us! Closing Remarks And thank you, dear readers, for joining us on our Horoscope Parody Land trip. We hope you enjoy the rest of your stay. Bless your stars, -Aries, Aquarius, and Sagittarius |