On the Road to Horoscope Land
One day, like you, I was bored. So I checked out the horoscope stuff in a website ad. I don't believe in horoscopes, but it's entertaining to see how much the descriptions "match" with our true personalities. In light of it, I wrote up parody blurbs about horoscopes. Who am I, fellow astrologer? (Horoscopes will be revealed at the end.) Mystery Horoscope One About Us: We like games. We like to get out there in the wild and start those projects. We are independently impatient and boldly devoted. We’ll ask you out for that first playdate, mate! Active? Yes, we’re energetic and always ready for a good game. Challenge us (and let us win)! Assertive/Aggressive? Of course, we know the fine line of who we are but we admit-- we enjoy leading. Yes, we know we can be a tad bossy, but play with us! We won’t beat you (yet). Pioneering? Definitely…what’s that shiny thing in your hand? Where were we? Ah yes, we’re taking life head-on! How to befriend me: Talk to us! (and maybe pat our heads and flirt-flatter us, too) Yep, we’re a fiery bunch, so be prepared to get fired up for a game. Above all, tell us about your ambitions. We’ll share ours, too! Who am I, fellow astrologer? Mystery Horoscope Two About Us: We’re friendly and aloof. We love roaming the parks and learning. We are rebellious and totally un-predictable. We eat Unique for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snack time. Intelligent? Yes, thank you. Thank you very much! (flattered look) Stubborn? Yes, we know. It’s more like strong-minded and independent-willed, but we are certainly stubborn, just a bit. Humanitarian? Absolutely, fellow Homo sapien! Our monkey friends love their anthropomorphic characteristics, and we love our Homo sapiens. We will rule the world! Mwahahaha. No, dear reader, we LOVE you (well, most of the time), we really meant rule the world in terms of helping! (wink wink) How to befriend me: Debate! Pull those intellectual brain muscles! Be the random oddball and tell us a good story. Above all, be willing to be our friend --we’ll go the extra hundred miles for you. Who am I, fellow astrologer? Mystery Horoscope Three About Us: We like laughing. We like teasing. Yes, we also like touching things. Shiny things, itchy ones, beautiful and weird things. What’s that Phillips curve doing in the trash can? Time to rescue it! Now, how does it work? Curious and optimistic, we like all people. Enthusiastic? That’s right! We like to hike in the woods and learn about the Phillips curve in the trash can. We like to sing along and run around in circles. We like meeting new people and talking and talking. We like walking and running and… Honest? Why not? There’s nothing to hide! We search for the truth and love it to death (and life). Please don’t hold back from us, our half-horse side will want to gallop into you! Adventurously Irresponsible? Yes and no, friend! Okay, we sometimes come a bit late. But that’s because we found a shiny new jacket on a shiny new person at the street corner on our way here. We just stopped to say hello and travel to the nearest bookstore to chat. How to befriend me: Tell us your funny jokes and stories and travel with us to the Galapagos islands and meet new friends with us and be happy! Laugh, live, and love with us! Closing Remarks And thank you, dear readers, for joining us on our Horoscope Parody Land trip. We hope you enjoy the rest of your stay. Bless your stars, -Aries, Aquarius, and Sagittarius Happy Valentine's Day! INTJ's [Very Much Realistic] Take
on How to Attract the ENFP Soulmate! Well, since it's Feb. 13 today, Happy [almost] Valentine's Day! Charming, spontaneous, funny, inspiring, and friendly, my ENFP friends love anything from the mysteriously challenging to the intriguing. How to attract the ENFP? 1) Be yourself and dazzle! Nothing attracts the ENFP faster than the magnetic pull of cucumber confidence and the true self. ENFPs look for the good in people and especially enjoy the company of those who stay true to themselves. 2) Share with them shiny new topics. Talk about the philosophical tendencies of the turtles in the oceans or about the favorite pasttimes of robots in the factories. 3) Challenge them and let them inspire you. The ENFPs are optimistic balls bursting with energy, and they love to play a variety of games from the hard-to-get type to the die-hard lover. These persistent creatures will chase after you! Other than attracting them, the ENFPs are great friends who are always there for you. Happy Valentine's! Book on sale! 16 MBTI: The INTJ Personality in Love and Relationships: INTJ Signs of Love and How to Attract INTJs - Love Advice and Personal Stories by INTJ’s and Loved Ones The INTJ's are a strange group of characters living in a world of strange beings, myself included. Society often dubs the INTJ's as an even stranger species than society itself. Still, for those curious about these aliens,...
...how do we spot these INTJ's? 1) Look at the studious characters at the corners of a library or laboratory. Piles of books surround them like forts preparing for a siege, housing the mastermind behind. 2) Find the ones with stares that seem to pierce your very soul and know your every secret and desire. 3) A dark, mysterious air trails behind them wherever they go. 4) Find them pacing back and forth in a corner of the room with furrowed eyebrows. 5) Look for those robotic completion of assignments. Their faces are frozen. Want to be the INTJ's friend? Give them lots of logical love. And those strange, alien robots are all yours. Ah yes, experiencing the ENTP.
The ENTPs, both male and female, are certainly the clever ones. They have puns and palindromes rolling around on the back burner while juggling twenty solenoids on a wooden table and spouting the philosophical musings of Tesla in his dealings with Thomas Edison. The ENTP are the visionaries with the brains and witty inspirations to match them. With their entrepreneurial spirits, the ENTP mantra is “anything can be solved,” including challenges of the highest Andromeda order and the quarks of alien civilization. Meeting ENTPs is a contagious, rejuvenating inspiration for the big picture into the game of life. Know a couple ENTPs who like playing games? INTJ's are about 1-3% of the population. They tend to be more common as males. Female INTJ's are as common as the four-leaf clover.
Anyways, no sarcasm per se intended in any of the following. I'm just going to describe myself and my INTJ friends. On the first meet, a piercing gaze stares straight through you. It feels like a laser light looking into your very soul. Dissection has begun. Silence. Then, bursts of sarcasm spill out into the air. Prepare for monologues about talking gorillas, the cosmic irony of Andromeda, the Grecian attitudes, the philosophical musings of the nihilists, hedonists, and Existentialists, and whether pop culture will ever figure out the makeup complexion of popcorn and butter. Notice the great stone face jiggle a little as they begin to trust your generous ears. Do not worry if this jiggling process takes a while. INTJ's are slow to melt... But when their stone faces find a jewel in your worthy soul, congratulations. You have made yourself an indispensible friend, a member of the INTJ's neural network. Did I mention they're 1-3% of the human population? |